With my last resolution post we worked out our top 3 resolutions for this year. How are you feeling about your progress? Are you feeling accomplished or dejected?

Go ahead and pull those resolutions out and take a look at them. How does it make you feel? Do you feel like you have been trying but not making as much progress as you want or thought you would?

Here are a five observations and tips to get your re-focused and re-energized:

Stop Trying!
Every time you feel like you are trying hard to make progress, you are failing. This is a fact that our mind cannot reconcile. If you try something, then you did not succeed and since you did not succeed, for some inconceivable reason we judge ourselves to have failed or fallen short. So stop telling yourself you tried and honor what you did do. For the longest time I told myself that I had ‘tried’ to meditate and never felt good about having done it right, or long enough. Now, I meditate everyday and it doesn’t look or feel like anything I had read about. Some days it is only 2 minutes and other times it happens randomly throughout the day. If you made an effort, any effort, you had a success – so stop the judging game!

It Takes 21 Days
There is plenty of research out there corroborating that it takes 21 days of consecutive doing and saying to start a new pattern or habit. Neuro-linguistic programming, hypnosis and guided visualization works on this principle. So, take the time to re-read your intentions everyday at least 3 times a day. How about when you brush your teeth and just before you turn out the light?

The First Thing You Do Matters
See your list? Is it really important to you to make progress on those intentions? Let’s see how important it is.

Answer this question: what are the first three things you do each day?
Now you know what is really important to you. For me it’s breakfast for my kids, my personal quiet time and then in to work. At work, I still derail myself when I start with my routine to-do list rather than the most important action that will move my daily goal forward.

Take a Small Step
Maybe you haven’t even gotten started on a resolution – it’s just not happening. Try this: pick an activity that you enjoy and give it symbolic meaning toward your desired resolution. Here’s an example: let’s say you set a goal to grow your business opportunities and customers but just don’t know what else you could do and are feeling stuck. But you enjoy gardening. Commit to spend time in your garden planting daily (regularly), and every time you dig in the soil or plant something new, tell yourself you are planting new opportunities that will result in a blooming business. Focus on that intention and keep at it!

Redefine the Meaning of “Goal”
Sometimes we get stuck on the meaning of a goal as the end result. It’s just time to give ourselves a new definition that is far more effective. Make your goal the very first step, not the very last step. Once you have completed the very first step, then pick another step and do it all over again. The whole objective is to make movement, no matter where or how far, just some movement. Once you get moving, the momentum will take you forward and you’ll find your way toward your resolution.

I hope these help you on your road to sticking with your resolutions for this amazing year. Let me know if you have questions or need support and I’ll see what I can do to help.

Creating Powerful Resolutions – That You Live Into

As we snuggle up to mid-February, it’s hard to remember we had all kinds of new energy for new personal and business goals only 6 weeks ago. The cold, wet (or snowy) winter has been long and the year’s challenges have settled in. And, it’s the perfect time to really build a strong resolution for the new year.

If you are following my 2010 Resolution Series, you have likely set an intention for 2010 and taken stock of your blessings and strengths. (If not, please go back and read up!)

Take a moment to review your notes and notice all the amazing elements of your life and your business. Give yourself credit. You have made great achievements.

Now let’s get down to business. It’s time to build your list of what you want to change, improve or do differently.

Step 1 – In your journal, title the page What I Want to Change and write out a whole list of everything you want to change, improve or do differently. Put each one on a new line. Try to write it in the first person. Consider all the areas of your life – personal, business, relationship, financial – you name it.

Step 2 – When you are finished with your list, take a look and see if you can recognize any common threads or patterns. If you do, try to write the pattern you want to change and add it to the list.

Step 3 – Now, you probably have some things on that list that you have wanted to change for a long time and never feel like you make any progress on. Next to three of them, put a star.

Step 4 – Pick 3, only 3, items on that list that you want to commit to working on this year. Of those three, only one of them can have a star next to it. And, of those three, one of those must have a star next to it. (So we are committing to work on only one super-big issue.) Write these on a new page, leaving extra space because we are going to do some exploring with them.

If you think you have your resolutions for the year, think again. We are going to do a little bit more to make them into resolutions. These last two steps are what you want to set some time aside for.

Step 5 – For each of the three items, explore and write out exactly what it is about this thing that makes you want something different. Explore it in detail. How do you feel about it? What does it mean to you? What’s so bad?

So let’s take a traditional one – I want to lose weight.
Why? I feel fat. I don’t have energy. I don’t like the way I look. I’d be healthier if I did.
So let’s go deeper. What does it mean to you? I’m not attractive. I’m not as good as I could be. People won’t like me. If I lose weight, (name) will like me more or approve of me.

Explore where this takes you. It might be uncomfortable to go looking, and it will help you to see the reason why where you are now is not where you want to stay. You might also reconsider this item and realize that you might want something a bit different. For instance, you might adjust this one to be – I want to get healthier.

Step 6 – Now we are going to power up each statement to make it into a resolution that makes a difference in your life.

• Take each statement and do the following:
• Write it in the present tense as though you already have the thing you want to change, improve or do differently. Start with one of the following: I have, I feel, I am, I create, I experience, I see, I enjoy, I hear, I choose, I will.
• Do not use the words want or need.
• Now add an and, because you are going to add a second part to that statement.
• For the second part of the statement, write what you have, feel, experience differently because you have that thing.

So let’s keep working with our example.
Original statement: I want to loose weight.
Maybe you upgraded it to: I want to be healthier.

Now, you power it up, so you write it as though you have achieved that thing. Some options could be: I am thin. I feel healthy. I have energy and am fit.

Now you add what you feel, have or experience as a result of having achieved this thing. Here are some options:

• I am thin and have energy to ride my bike 5 miles. I am thin and feel happier and go out more.
• I feel healthy and have energy to work out. I feel healthy and feel more confident so I have a new job.
• I have energy and am fit and I enjoy my work more.

Your new power resolution will be unique to you because what will come as a result of having achieved what you are aiming for will be what is important to you.

Notice that as you work this process you move from focusing on something you want to expressing yourself as having that thing as well as the outcome that matters to you. Our words are immensely powerful and your choice of words will give power to what you resolve to do, change or improve.

Give this a try and if you need some help, just email. When you are complete with this, you have three powerful resolutions for this year! Congratulations!

Stay tuned because the upcoming post will help us lock these resolutions in as habits.

I leave you with this amazing quote from Caroline Myss’ “The Anatomy of the Spirit.”
Enjoy!
Judith

“In seeking this one right choice constantly, we give form to our fear of the changing rhythm that is life itself. In looking for this single “right answer” that will forever bring us peace, stability, love and health, we dismiss the more authentic power that lies “behind our eyes and not in front of them.” The truth contained within the paradoxical nature of dualism is this: It is not what we choose that matters; our power to influence an outcome lies in our reasons for making a certain choice.”

Listen, appreciate and be in the moment, trust myself, have faith in spirit, allow myself to receive blessings beyond my capacity to imagine, honor my intuition, and have joy and fun in the expression of my passion.

Wait!

Before you set your New Year’s resolutions, spend some time working with me through this blog series!

The New Year IS a great time to take stock, gather your resolve and make some personal goals for self-improvement. It’s the time when we pull out that new calendar and all is fresh and ready for something new. And for those of us with businesses, who often spend time juggling more than anyone should, make this a priority and follow my multi-part blog to help your 2010 year unfold in support of your resolutions.

I’m not sure how you traditionally set your new year’s resolutions (if you make any at all anymore!), if you have a process, or just pick the one most obvious thing you sense you could improve. I propose we work through a short process together with the aim of getting you through 2010 having made progress on what you truly do want to improve about yourself and your life.

Each of us has set some resolution, only to reach the end of the year and realize that we did not really make the progress we wanted. We still want to loose weight, make more money, find that great relationship, spend more time with family, be happier, etc. How do we get around this? How do we make progress on these things that we consider important enough to set a resolution around?

To be honest, I think it takes a different kind of awareness of what to do, how to do it and why to do it. By ‘what to do’ I mean the actual selection of which elements of your life you choose to resolve to change. Choosing what you want to accomplish, change or do is not a simple matter and does require more than a feeling of frustration, a sense that you could do better.

By ‘how to do it’ I mean the actual process of selecting what you want to accomplish, change or do. As well as the process you use for making progress and the checking in on your progress. It doesn’t have to be long or complicated, but having a new process or routine can help immensely.

Any ‘why to do it’ seems almost self-evident, no? You are sick and tired of something in your life and you really want something better, happier, different, right? But if you are truly sick and tired of it, then why haven’t you changed it? Why can’t you seem to make progress on that thing? Actually, I think this might just be the hardest part we will work on together. It will be hard because I propose we tackle one of those resolutions that do not seem to make headway. And the more entrenched it is, the more you will need to do some soul-searching. I’m confident that this year, we can, and will, get you moving where you want to go!

So here’s what I propose:

1. Do NOT set any resolutions yet! Trust me. If you really need one to share with yourself and others, resolve to follow this process and give it as much time as you can each month. You can certainly begin mulling a few over, considering what you might want to set for the year, ask friends – but do not set them in stone just yet.

2. Set your space to keep track of your work. It might be a document on your desktop, a new notebook, your own personal blog, or a committed time with your partner (spouse, significant other, friend, business partner) to talk about this if you are not a writer. You don’t need much, just a sense of where you will find your work to refer back to it.

3. Now I’m going to give you the first three steps to this process. Do them with all the attention you can give them.

• Step 1 – Set an intention for what you want 2010 to be. Write it down in this format: ‘My intention for 2010 is to be a year… (you fill in the blank).’ Please refrain from using any other personal pronouns, especially ‘I’ or ‘my’. Also, refrain from using the words ‘do’, ‘have’, ‘not’ and ‘want.’ These constraints are important. Language is powerful and we are working on a statement of being. Take the time to really consider this one. I suggest you give yourself a week to work this one through. Write it, share it, sit with it and make sure you have what you are looking for. Here are a few examples to get you started:

• • My intention for 2010 is to be a year of joyful, exuberant service to self and others.

• • My intention for 2010 is to be a year filled with creative expressions of happiness, balance and success in all endeavors.

• • My intention for 2010 is to be a year of outrageous prosperity.

• Step 2 – Take some good long moments to take stock of where you are today. Before we can get to working on what you want to change, it is important to give yourself credit for what you do have and value. Title this: ‘What I appreciate in my life and in my self.’ Look back on 2009 and consider what has changed, what progress you did make, what you do value that you have around you. These are the precious things in your life, in yourself and in your business that need to be recognized to keep them alive. If this is hard for you, I have found that good friends are great at telling you what you are good at, or what they see that is amazing in your life. Ask them, and write down what they say and do not edit it. See it and sit with it. Now, I know there are many of you out there who are not write-it-down-types, so you have to agree to share yours with someone. Like I said earlier – your partner in this endeavor. Plan to give this at least a week of your time where you add things to your list as you notice them.

• Step 3 – When you have your appreciation list to a place you are satisfied, show your appreciation. Some creative types will consider making a visual collage of what is on their list. Others might want to take the time to write notes of appreciation to people who are a part of the list. Be certain to include one activity that specifically is designed to highlight your appreciation for something about yourself.

Can you imagine a better way to start the year? This is powerful work and sets the stage for the next phase of our work together. These are small steps and very do-able. So do them! Enjoy them, and know that you are making progress on yourself in ways that will be very evident in just a short time.

My next post will come mid-January and will set you up to begin work on what you specifically want to change, improve or do differently. So get ready – and stay tuned!

Be sure and share your comments with me and, and let me know if you have any questions that come up as you work through this.

Happy New Year!
Judith